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Album Review
Liquid Bacon

Liquid Bacon
by Golden Axe

Label
AAMDISCS
Rating

Review Date
24th January 2012
Reviewed by
Leslie Henkel

This one wins Most Aptly Named Album Ever. Because, like liquid bacon, an album full of 80’s/90’s new wave/electro/videogame inspired songs played on low res synths seems like a funny and terrible idea. But, also like liquid bacon, if you give it a chance (or pour it from your fry pan onto the floor—in this case, DO drink and fry!), it’ll have you spazzing and sliding around the room in all sorts of fun ways! Your entree into this breakfast of champions, “Space Fire”--a thrashy, 8 bit-synth version of Joy Division meets Space Invaders--will have you wondering how many small, electronic components burst into flames in the production of this song.

An amusing game to play with the rest of Liquid Bacon is Match The Song To The Videogame. Ready? Here we go!

#2. “Moon of a Peaceful Planet” = Paperboy or Contra (picture yourself cruising down the streets, with nothing but pixelated peril ahead of you; you are a man, or woman, alone; you are an unknown, misunderstood, poorly-paid legend!)

#3. “Hot in the City” = Streets of Rage (uh oh, is it time to dance...or fight? Which will you choose?!!)

#4. “Full Time Fun” = Sonic the Hedgehog (wait a sec, are they speaking German? Is this Sprockets, or Hell? I don't know, but I can't stop dancing in my extremely warm, full-body neon lycra suit!)

#5 “Meet Me in the Jungle” = Megaman (this song begins with a quote from a movie or American-accented humanoid I cannot name: “Let's go! We'll have a big party, get totally blitzed, and spray laser bolts all over the jungle!” And that is exactly what happens in this song!)

#6. “Circular Staircase” = Marble Madness (you are the mathematical oversoul of a splatter-paint-shirt-wearing undersoul. This song could be a cheer if robots were cheerleaders, and if marching bands were machine guns of sound. I don't care if that doesn't make any sense.)

#7. “Bees to Meet You” = Zelda (the happy dance remix, as performed by Ms. Pac Man.)

#8. “Up and Down Man” = Footloose pinball machine? (You surely aren't allowed to dance when you're a hyperactive, prog-rocking, post-punking troublemaker!)

#9. “Peaceful Planet” = Tron (Legacy) segueing into Q-bert (with Molly Ringwald working the joysticks. That was not intended in a sexual sense, thanks.)

All fun and games aside, Liquid Bacon will take hold of you with a crackhead's conviction (do crackhead's have conviction? Hm.) And you won’t even need to steal any car radios to get your hands on this rock! It’s cheaply and easily downloadable over at bandcamp.com. Do it, before this review kills you with metaphorical laser beams and computers that rule your mind. Too. Late. Sucker.


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