We have been asked to play this event so were hitting the road to Tauranga. First time the dollhouse has hit the sunshine as a band so looking forward to it,
91 WILLIAMS ROAD NORTH, PYES PA, TAURANGA
Description
With Camp a Low Hum in its final year, Big Day Out going ahead despite lack of demand and a weak line up that is now missing one, Truk Oilywaters favourite band and with Laneways quickly become the Arch Hill showcase only one festival positions itself as the last bastion of beer drinking, weed smoking, sun stroking, portaloo boning, lame rhyme groaning funtacular summer fun times.... Home Grown... But hey how can we better their amazing bands, inexpensive ticket pricing and all round best experience ever if you are a13 year old girl from the burbs who has a crush on the lead singer of Villainy....
Proud to be shit, Tauranga Music Sux Fest, 'Woodcock 2 - Even Harder' returns with even worse bands, more stages and acts in an attempt to compensate for the worsening of talent on display, pro wrestling because I really do just like Hulk Hogan way too much and more expensive ticket prices because that's what festivals do. They boost the price on a year by year basis without justification till it reaches such a point that the only people that can afford to go are the ones who run the festivals and have kept all the money for themselves. Can't wait....
Joining the pretentious babble of the wannabe rockstar gods on the mainstage, the Tauranga Music inspired psuedo punk warblings of the TMS room and the offensive, untalented, mental musings of the Shit Cunt Sandpit we are proud to announce our new stage in honour of those that either chose to spend the day getting high or passed out early due to drinking too much too soon in the carpark/camp ground area run by Tauranga's favourite burlesque, electro pop punk band Gold Medal Famous and in homage of those in Wellington we aspire to be 'The Home Blown Stage'. This year as well as including musical acts, there will be a protest for you to sign that is dear to all our hearts 'The Petition to stop the Feelers', games such as 'The James Reid Pie Eating Contest' and 'Am I redder than Jordan Luck''. Though even with a day in the sun unprotected from the beaming rays it will still be hard to be redder than that guys vessel popped tomato face. Who loves booze the most' Jordan does...
So confession time, ya know how I like pro wrestling and all' Well I blew the entire Woodcock budget on a pro wrestling ring so I can show you all how great my package looks in spandex. Thanks to the Hughes Academy of Pro Wrestling for supplying the ring, Wrestlers and a reason for me to boost the price of tickets in a justified manner.
But let's not forget that as well as performance art pieces, pie eating contests and latex penis bulges this is a music event. And this year we have an amazing line up of familiar, fresh and lock em away in the dungeon they be that ugly faces. Including:
Lost Rockets (AKL)
Trust Punks (AKL)
Day Ravies (AUS)
Big Dick (TGA)
Not Big Rick (Liberalville)
The Prophet Motive (ROTO)
Vorn (Wgtn)
The Buster Wilson Experience (Vegas)
Eskimo Pussy (Ice Land)
Lorde (Top of the World)
Spork (TGA)
Bad Edison (WGTN)
The Cavemen (AKL)
Anne Hero (WGTN)
Threat.Meet.Protocol. (KATI)
Mono Sonic (WGTN)
Super Narco Man (TGA)
Motawrek (TGA)
Stone the Crows (AKL)
Kittentank (WGTN)
Gallus Storky (TGA)
Shoutin Preachin (AKL)
Gold Medal Famous (WGTN)
Wheatbags Anonymous (Sanatarium)
Black Science (AKL)
Bloodbags (AKL)
The 5th Form Poet (Wanganui)
Lightning Tape Wolf (WGTN)
X-Ray Fiends (AKL)
Forgotten Generation (AKL)
Hollywoodfun Downstairs (WGTN)
Elten Smeeth (TGA)
And more to come once I confirm their useless asses....
91 Williams Road North, Pyes Pa, Tauranga. $30 entry - Parking/Camping inclusive. Saturday, 15th February 2014. 12pm till whenever. Gates open at 11am... Camping/Food Poisoning from Undercooked meat products/4 stages/40+ bands/7 hours of Pro Wrestling/Heat Stroke/Sweat Shop Merch/Feelings of dissatisfaction/Potential to get a blowie in the car park in exchange for pills/Day of escapism before returning to your mundane why don't you just kill yourselves lives/My latex framed pants bulge....
No Jack Brocks.
Tickets at door. Cash only. Food/water is limited so bring your own to last you a day night. Be respectful of surroundings. Put rubbish in bins. Fuck off when its finished. Take your mess and dickwad friends with you. Don't come again next year....
