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Savant Garde Records/T.M.S

Every music scene has some unspoken unifying bond. Seattle had a bunch of moaning, long haired poofs too gay to actually cut trees but still wearing logging attire playing a mix of punk and metal that eventually got diluted into the wank that is now known as Pearl Jam. L.A’s, semi, NO! fully retarded big haired, get laid psuedo musicians pumped out a party hard brand of metal that appealed to fat chicks and fags and sucks to this day and will continue to suck in perpetuity. In Manchester everyone called each other geezer and played in dance infused bands that would later go on to influence Oasis – cunts. No one had clothes in San Francisco and they all wore crabs in their pubic hair. Closer to home; Auckland bands wear Miley Cyrus jeans and think they’ve made it when their Kings of Leon sounding music video of them looking pensive in fedoras gets played on C4 and some fat chick at one of their concerts offers the lead singer a hand job ignoring the fact that C4 sucks and the chicks fat and a whore who would give your mum a hand job if she were in a band and a fedora. Wellington has a real bad infestation of gluten free, dairy free, taste free, talent free, muffin eating, cardigan wearing, bicycle riding, environment saving, miserable, liberal, pretentious hipsters playing a wide range of music that all manages to sound the same – ball-less and soul-less. Dunedins got history. All the bands in Christchurch have been crushed or are playing in a seismic crater. And Taurangas musicians are no exception….what’s their ‘unspoken, unifying bond’ you ask? Well Tauranga music just plain sucks…..


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