Track By Track: TOOMS Talk About Their Debut Album 'Fake Teeth'

Announced just over a week ago and unleashed upon the world today, Fake Teeth is the long-awaited debut album from Tāmaki Makaurau's TOOMS, the formidably noisy duo of Dorian Noval (drums, vocals) and Nich Cunningham (bass, vocals). Out now in a swish vinyl LP edition courtesy of 1:12 Records, TOOMS generously gave us the full scoop on every single track on Fake Teeth, recorded by Cunningham and featuring guest contributions from Aotearoa experimental mavericks Jeff Henderson and Jonny Marks (The All Seeing Hand). They'll be celebrating their long player's launch on home turf at The Wine Cellar with buds Repairs on 18th March (limited capacity so get in quick) — learn all about Fake Teeth direct from the collective galaxy brain that is TOOMS below...

TOOMS Fake Teeth Album Release w/ Repairs
Friday 18th March - The Wine Cellar, Auckland
Tickets available HERE via UTR

1. physical limitations

This track is easy to get: there are only two of us in Tooms. But this number would take three people to play live so it is exceeding the stated problem. Also being that Fake Teeth is a vinyl record, physicality comes into it: It has sides, which suggest a certain form, or programme. A beginning, a middle and an end.

2. pinky

It’s like some kind of endless argument: everyone is certain and no one will give an inch so nothing can ever get resolved. This usually just dissolves into accusations of some kind of personal failing. People just find more reasons to hate each other. And so it goes.

3. dead bird

The song is literally literal, except for when it isn’t. For a time I felt like I was frequently and unavoidably running over birds. It was deeply unpleasant. Something about innocent victims of human industry and activity. And it’s a horrible experience that I wanted to share.

4. blanket

Just sayin’ it must be super tiring to actively be a selfish destructive piece of shit. This is the diss track, and we dedicate it to ourselves.

5. piss

This is one of the older songs where the lyrics are a bit more centralised, an ode to hanging at and working at "Da Wine Jail”, about rude customers and how much I wanna f*** their mum!!

6. black door

Black door is named after Black Door Studios (RIP) that Nich ran with his friend Daryl, which is where we recorded this song. It's just a bunch of out of time screaming really, I dunno why it’s like that lol. We just thought it sounded cool and more scary from far away and not straight into the mic. It just sounds like someone having an episode to a short ass doomy track, not far from the running lyrical theme of this album hahahah

7. grip

According to the instruction book, side one of a record should always end with a ballad. And far be it for us to buck with convention. And Grip is what it sounds like when Tooms does one.

8. ... because it’s absurd

You suffer, but why?

9. bit part

This is kinda connected to the song 'Pickle' two tracks down in which we torture a Sim just trying to get by, another motif in this album about the things you must do to be able to live comfortably and even just fit in to society. I think this song sounds kinda robot-y and kinda awkward, and in my head I see The Sims when they wanna go on the computer or watch TV but you’re not letting them do any of their “whims” and they have to do yours instead.

10. stingray

I think we all know a person who loves the sound of their own voice, who dominates a conversation with their probbo unsubstantiated opinions, ‘confirmed’ only by their own ‘bias’ heh :o) if you think this is about you… it prolly is????

11. vacillation

Literally oscillating between two points. Or a pompous way of saying there are only two notes in this song. Also, in the scheme of the album, the instrumentals are basically part breaks between episodes.

12. pickle

This is a super old song we wrote ages ago and it was me (Dori) and my best friend playing Sims and we were torturing one of them by putting it in a room with no door, no bed, no toilet, only a coffee machine. And it kept walking around in circles shitting and pissing itself and going crazy coz it had no bed to sleep on and could only drink coffee to stay alive. Sound familiar??

13. black hole

This started off as a song about that Charles Burns comic Black Hole but it took a different turn in the end.

14. not in love with the times

There’s that Flying Nun compilation called In Love With These Times and that’s what Nich cleverly named it after, which is in contrast to how we feel about our current times. This song is about society’s eventual collapse. The lyrical imagery keeps swapping back and forth between contemporary and a zombie apocalypse buzz of people hoarding stuff and getting all their money out from the ATM machine (this is a true story that my friend saw happen when the pandemic broke out!!!).

15. rooftops

We definitely wanted to work with Jeff Henderson again after he sussed out our Mint Chicks cover. He took too fucken long though so we played him off against his frenemy Jonny Marks but then both of them pulled up and now this piece of shit exists.

'Fake Teeth' is out today on major streaming services via 1:12 Records, vinyl LP orders are available HERE.